Wednesday, 17 August 2016

8 Questions Couples Should Ask Each Other To Get To Know Themselves Better

Regardless of to what extent you have been together with someone, you can never really learn everything about that ‘someone’ you love. When you are in a serious relationship with someone for quite some time, no matter if it’s a long distance one, if you are happy and settled in that relationship, it once in a while feels as though you and your partner have talked about everything there is and know everything there is to know about each. I mean, all the long-term couples would agree with the fact that they have gone through a time where they literally feel like they have “nothing to talk about”.

The couple has talked about their interests, hobbies, what they like and don’t like, they have definitely talked about their childhood, about their dreams, about how they want their future to be and the list goes on. But there still is a lot to know about each other, some really important stuff that a couple should go through.

Now if you ever come across this “nothing to talk about” point in your relationship, it does not really mean that you have run out of things to talk about, it’s just that you are not seeing an ocean of questions in front of you left to ask each other that will actually make your understanding of each other even better.

So rather than watching a football match or a TV program tonight, decide to improve your bond with your loved one through simple conversation. The following questions will help!

1. Do you really feel respected and adored?

Now, obviously you adore your partner, right? And he or she most likely knows it as well. But there is a very big difference between having the capacity to explain the emotions and to feel them with a power so strong that you can’t even clarify in words. By asking your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband if they really feel loved around you, you are basically welcoming them to tell you about the things you do and say that make them feel protected, give them a sense of peace and desire. And similarly, you are asking that they help you improve as a partner, as what you should and should not do.

The next thing is respect. The couple can be frank about everything and even mess around with each other but there is a fine line of respect that should never be crossed. Your partner may even ignore a thing you said that offended them, but they can get hurt and you definitely don’t want that to happen if you are trying to strengthen your relationship for the long term. So, go on and ask them if they are getting the right amount of respect they deserve from you or not.

One important thing to remember here is that you have got to listen to every word they have to say and you should not take their censure personally or permit it to influence you negatively. Anyone can be a great partner but the thing is that we need to accept the fact that we are not flawless in every way.

2. What’s on your “future goals” list?

Yeah, it can somewhat be a morbid question but let’s face it, nobody is immortal and the capacity to talk openly about this and guarantee that you two are in an agreement as far as your life goals go, will just unite you. A relationship and behaviour expert named, April Masini, once said that the couples can be as one for quite a long time and still not know everything about each other. April Masini gives relationship counsel on her Ask April exhortation segment.
Now, on the off chance that you don’t ask this question, you will simply never know, and any item on that list not accomplished on the grounds that it wasn’t clear or known, is a remorse you should not have. Yes, you can just say no to a certain item from that list but trust me, it’s really better to recognize what your partner truly needs to do in this lifetime. And also, it gives you a chance to share your “goals” list with them too.

3. How would you like to say ‘Goodbye’ to this World?

Once more, it is really important to move beyond the thought that death is awful or a negative or even that one can avoid it. It’s a characteristic period of life and a casual conversation about it will help you both know how you wish to be dealt with and took care of when the time comes. (The comprehension here is that you are moving in the direction of turning into a couple that stays together forever).

This all appears to be macabre, however in the event that you are in a long haul relationship, and you have never had this conversation or had the chance to, in light of the fact that you’ve never had a guardian or cherished one pass away, it will be a beneficial discussion to have. This is a pretty important question and if not asked, you will never know whether somebody needs extraordinary measures taken to keep them alive, needs no extreme measures or needs to stay away from a doctor’s facility no matter what.

Just asking this opens up what appears like a horrible discussion, however is an extremely adoring and personal approach to become more acquainted with each other and feel nearer.

4. What makes you feel most uncomfortable in life?

Now this is a pretty straightforward and a simple question to ask your spouse or partner. You might even know some of the stuff that makes them feel uncomfortable or freak out like things not going well at home, or seeing your kids sick and etc.

Yet, there could be some things that you don’t know like a distressing event from their past that you aren’t mindful of. By talking about this, sharing your past experiences and by gaining an insight into your everyday life events that cause you both stress will help you know why does this happen. For instance, your partner is constantly irritable just before he or she takes off the way to work.

So you need to ask them as to what annoys them the most and how you can help.

5. How can I help you become a great parent?

It is quite common if you feel a bit insecure about your parenting capabilities. It is something we can blame on having a huge amount of obligations, insufficient time to share with family and well, being human. Sadly, we sometimes fall into the trap of censuring our partners for not doing what is needed without considering that it is so frightful to have your life partner chasten you for poor child rearing abilities.

Make your partner believe that you have their back (he or she should also be there for you) by asking what you can do to offer assistance. Maybe it is as simple as just giving 15 to 20 minutes to just calm down and relax when he or she returns home from work before he or she hops in and plays with the children (which can, thus, give YOU 15 to 20 minutes to relax in return).

6. What do you want to do for your Birthday this time?

Alright now, don’t worry, you can ask some “not so heavy” questions as well. Some of you might say that this question, “what do you want to do for you birthday”, appears to be so dull but according to April Masini, a relationship expert, it’s a standout amongst the most examined issues on my relationship exhortation gathering. The wrong present for a birthday, or any other special event like anniversary or Christmas, creates a mountain of discussion you don’t want to have.

For instance, let’s suppose you got something good natured, like a lovely watch can turn into the start of a battle. There is a big chance of you getting questions like, ‘we can’t manage the cost of this, what makes you think you can purchase something this costly without discussion’, and so forth. A lot of times couples will go through years of terrible presents and sick sentiments since they never have a conversation about what they need, and how it influences the other individual. She might continue purchasing him wool sweaters, when all he’d truly want is a road trip or camping. He might continue purchasing roses for her birthdays, when she’d much rather have the capacity to skip Christmas at his mom’s home only one year.

Pose the question, get the discussion going and enhance your relationship.

7. If you could change something about me, what would it be?

Again, it is a simple question that you can ask your partner. The good thing about this question is that it allows the two to be compassionate with one another. Yes, the couple loves each other and loves everything about each other but there always is something, like something you say or do that annoys the other. It can be a certain habit like throwing wet towels on the bed or the dirty socks and etc. Now these things may seem little but a person can get annoyed and have a reaction that leads to an argument you don’t want to have.

So to avoid that, sit and talk about the things you want to change in your partner. I’m sure there won’t be much but working on these little things can definitely strengthen your relationship.

8. What do I do when I get angry or disagree?

This one question is a bit different from the other ones as each partner will have to ask this question from themselves and then answer out loud. The other partner only has to listen.

According to a psychologist named, Fran Walfish; the main deciding element for a sound and enduring relationship is handling the conflicts efficiently. This all incorporates listening without intrusion, being willing to examine the problems, accepting the difference in opinions and planning the solutions together.

This was a list of a couple of intimate questions that you should ask your partner, now obviously there can be other important questions as well, but this was to give you an idea about how you can improve and strengthen your relationship just by sitting with your loved one and talking.

Sharing time and talking is really important, it may not seem that significant and you might reach that “nothing to talk about” point but remember, there always is something you can ask and share with your partner and, believe me; it will turn out to be really worthwhile for the both of you.

So, are you going to ask your partner these questions? Let us know!

9 signs You’re With a Real and Faithful Man

All girls have their own idea of the perfect man- the kind of man they hope to find one day, the man they can spend their entire lives with. So some girls will prefer tall guys, some prefer short. Some want a guy who they can have fun with, while others just want someone to share their deepest darkest side with. But no matter what kind of physical attributes or personality traits you prefer, one thing that remains an essential requirement for all girls is ‘loyalty’ and there are no two opinions about this!

So if you want to assure yourself of your man’s loyalty, look out for the following signs in him:

Intimacy isn’t just 20 minutes under the sheets

You know that guy who doesn’t really have much to talk about, won’t ever plan out any unique romantic dates for you and the only time you’ve ever seen him happy and excited beside you is when you’re getting intimate. And the minute that’s over, when he’s done what he was here for in the first place, he’ll return to being the cold, disinterested person that he is.
Yeah, I’m sure you remember him but your current man is nothing like that! He doesn’t just want to fast forward everything to an hour in the bedroom and even when he does, it’s followed up by even more love and affection. An hour of intimacy is usually followed up by an entire night of cuddles and long talks.

You have an all access pass to his house

No one likes interruptions in their life and no one wants to grant permanent and unrestricted authorisation to their one safe haven to just anyone they meet. So if your partner was confident enough to hand you a copy of their apartment’s keys without you even asking for them, then this is a sure shot sign of their loyalty towards you.

He remembers to call and text you at the most random times

He’s been really busy all day at work. You don’t even expect him to take the time out just to talk to you, but that’s exactly what he does! In the middle of everything, when he’s buried in work from head to toe and tensions are running high, he’ll remember to let you know that he’s thinking of you. It can be a simple message or just a 2 minute call but he won’t end a day without talking to you, at least once.

You’re the only person he has eyes for

Now we’re not saying you should go all crazy judging him for this one point. Sure, he will notice the people around you, he’ll even joke with you about that really hot girl from across the table just to see you get a little jealous. But when all is said and done, when all the fun and games are over, and when he’s sitting across from you with his eyes fixed, just listening intently to what you’re saying, you’ll feel so sure about the fact that he’s never looked at another girl the way he looks at you.

He’s told his friends all about you

He doesn’t panic at the sight of his college friends when you guys run into them at a random party, he doesn’t introduce you to the people around him as a new friend he made, he doesn’t avoid putting up a Snapchat story with you just to hide your secret romance and he definitely does not feel any shame in admitting his feelings about you openly, at least to the people who matter to him.

His friends know absolutely everything about you, from how you guys met to how you managed to make him fall head over heels in love with you.

He doesn’t mind doing anything for you

He doesn’t have old-fashioned and discriminatory views about gender roles. He won’t mind cooking up an amazing dinner for your date night or helping you change your sheets. And when you’re having the laziest day and feel like doing absolutely nothing, he’ll be around to help you complete all your work.

He’s interested in anything and everything about you

He doesn’t want to find just this one common hobby or interest that you both share and then work out all of your conversations and free time around that one thing. No, that’s not how he goes about this relationship! He takes a genuine interest in all of your likes and dislikes and wants to know all the deepest, darkest thoughts you have in that beautiful mind of yours.

He has nothing to hide

He doesn’t have a passcode on his phone and he won’t give a second thought to leaving his phone with you for any reason at all. And this one time when you needed to see some pictures from his Facebook account, he didn’t hesitate for a single second before giving you his password. Now it’s not like you’re some psycho stalker who’ll take these opportunities to go through all of his personal conversations, but it feels nice to know that even if you did, he wouldn’t have anything to hide.

Talk to Us

Are you in a long-distance relationship? How do you manage it? Let us know in the comments below!

1. Assuming someone else in them

Don't forget why you fell in love with them in the first place. Do not try to make them someone they’re not and do not try to find someone else in them. So you had a rough breakup and you kind of miss the good things your ex did for you, DO NOT make your better half do those things and DO NOT expect them do be like them. Love them for who they are.

2. One lie affects it all

Lying is never the best thing, a minute lie to do something good is alright but remember that it always finds a way to get found out. Be real with your partner, if you’ve made a mistake just confess it out. If you lie about one thing, you’re going to have to lie about another thing to protect the first lie and you’ll soon find yourself surrounded by a fortress of lies and it does not take an army to break.

3. Been around them

Your presence is very important to your partner. Always be there in their endeavours, their accomplishments, their failures, never be absent during their ups and downs. As soon as you stop being there, they’ll stop expecting you to be there, and then the distance will increase. Always be just a call or text away.

4. Some relationships just don’t work out

If you’re doing everything right and you still feel like it’s not the same as it used to be, don’t blame yourself for it. Some relationships are just not meant to be. As hard as this might be to read, not everything in life is meant to be. Some things are better off left alone than to waste the rest of your energy and still be empty inside.

5. Lack of Communication

This is one of the biggest reasons for people to start disagreeing on things day by day. Never, and I mean NEVER, let a communication gap develop between the two of you. A healthy relationship requires a healthy amount of talking, back and forth. Show a keen interest in what they have to say and make them hear about your side of the story in return. This is one of the easiest things to do and one of the easiest things to lose as well.

6. Much Expectations

The squabbling and fighting increases when you start expecting a little too much from your partner. Expecting from your better half is a very normal part of a relationship but never test them on it. Make sure to keep your expectations realistic and not to burden them with the things they can’t do.

29 Habits You Need to Break Before Turning 30 |READ|

29 Habits You Need to Break Before Turning 30

Most of us spend our 20s figuring sh*t out: our careers, our relationships, ourselves. And we're going to make plenty of mistakes along the way.
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Why You Need to Listen to That Little Voice in Your Head (Even If It Scares The Hell Out of You)

That’s more than OK—no one's perfect. Plus, mistakes build character. As someone recently told me, “Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.”
But as I edge toward 30, I've started to want to do more things right and fewer things wrong. Maybe now's the time to start thinking of life as less of a big, messy experiment and more of a strategic game to be played.
After reflecting on my own experiences, reading books and articles about others', and listening to advice from some very wise people, I came up with 29 habits that probably aren’t doing us any favors. While they may not be the worst things you could do, holding onto them could be holding you back from the relationships, career, health, and happiness you deserve.
I’m still trying to break plenty of them myself—it's definitely a learning process. The good news? No matter what age you are, there’s no time like the present to start letting go of certain habits so you can keep crushing it in your 30s, 40s, and beyond.

29 Habits to Kick

1. Flaking out on plans with friends.

If you agree to brunch or dinner with a friend, don’t cancel a few hours beforehand—unless you have a super valid reason. Stressed and exhausted? That’s an even better reason to keep your plans. Research shows hanging out with a friend can boost your mood and decrease stress. (Caveat: If the friend in question is dragging you down, maybe it’s time to break ties completely—which doesn’t mean rescheduling and cancelling all over again.)

2. Spending too much money on cheap clothes.

The tank tops and ripped jeans at Forever21 are tempting, but blowing $200 on a pile of clothes you’ll only wear once or twice isn’t a good way to spend your paycheck. Invest in some higher-quality items (and I don’t mean designer) that’ll last you way longer. You may actually start to enjoy getting dressed, while saving money in the long run.

3. Obsessing over online dating.

So the person you’ve been chatting with for three weeks still hasn’t asked you out? He or she probably isn’t going to. Accept it, move on, and look up from your phone—you can talk to the cute guy or girl in the coffee shop. Also, let's stop chasing after people who speak in a virtual monotone, giving only one-word answers. There are plenty of people out there who are a lot more fun to talk to.

4. Being too afraid to ask for a raise.

A 2015 study found that almost 60 percent of workers don’t ask for a raise, mainly because they felt uncomfortable asking. We all need to work hard to prove our worth, but we should also be paid what we deserve. Asking for a raise (that you've truly earned) isn't that scary—here’s some advice that’ll help you feel prepared and calm your nerves.

5. Skimping on skin care.

Yeah, you should wash your face at night. No, you shouldn’t pick at your pimples (unless you’re doing it the doctor-approved way). While you don’t have to pay up for special facials or laser treatments, you should invest in some high-quality products that are right for your skin (and use sunscreen every day).

6. “Forgetting” to call older relatives.

Your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other older and wiser relatives deserve to hear your voice every so often. Stop making excuses to put it off until tomorrow. Pick up the phone, ask how they are, and tell them what’s new in your life. Not only will you make their day, but chances are, you’ll also feel better in the process.

7. Overusing the word “sorry.”

No need to apologize for responding to a text two hours later. Or for staying in on a Friday to save some money and get some sleep. The more I read about our culture's apology epidemic, the more it irks me when I hear "sorry" tossed around in casual conversation. We could all stand to cut back. Bonus: When you do need to apologize, saying sorry will carry more significance.

8. Feeling guilty for your success.

If you land an amazing new job or start a business, something weird may happen: People might put you down. It sounds cliché, but odds are, they’re jealous or feeling insecure. Don't let this make you feel bad, embarrassed, or apologetic about your success. Own it and forget the haters. The good people in your life—the ones who build you up and offer support—will be nothing but happy for you.

9. Staying with a partner who makes you feel anything less than awesome.

We know it's not always sunshine and rainbows; inevitably, there will be bumps in the road. (Here's how to tell if your doubts are deal breakers or totally normal.) But overall, your partner should make you feel happy, secure, beautiful, and loved—and if those feelings haven’t surfaced in a long time, it may be time to rethink the partnership.

10. Taking “no” for an answer without trying again.

There are going to be things you can’t do anything about (and that’s an important lesson in itself). But when it comes to issues you really care about—at work, in your relationship, anywhere—don’t just accept the first “no” that someone gives you. Ask again, backed with a reasonable argument and without complaining. You never know ’til you ask (again), right?

11. Not saving money.

Whether it’s a 401(k), IRA, or savings account, socking away cash is one of the smartest things a 20-something can do, experts say. In your 20s, aim to save 10 to 15 percent of your paycheck; in your 30s, try to put 15 to 25 percent in your savings account. Set up a monthly automatic transfer to make it easy, and check out these 94 painless ways to save more money.

12. Not cleaning your shower until it’s covered in mold.

It’s gross, and it’s not that hard to clean. (I found a toothbrush works wonders on shower tiles.) Same goes for not dusting until dust bunnies take over or not washing your sheets until they start to smell bad.

13. Arguing with your parents.

14. Smoking (or tanning)—at all.

These are two of the worst things you can do for your health. There’s no excuse. Social smoking is still smoking, and a base tan still counts as sun damage. Need help quitting? Here are some useful tips.

15. Waiting around for The One.

It's tempting to swipe endlessly on apps, but if you’re not actually open to giving someone a chance (even if they don't look like the guy or gal of your dreams), then you’re not going to find someone. Newsflash: Soul mates aren’t a real thing, so stop waiting for the face of your future partner to magically appear.

16. Not pursuing something you love.

Reading, writing a blog, knitting, doing Zumba—whatever it is, don’t let someone’s judgment stop you from pursuing your passions. Set aside the time for the things you love and consider marking it on your calendar so you’ll actually do it.

17. Constantly running late.

This is a tough one to work on resolving—trust me, I know. But if you can nail the whole being-on-time thing, you’ll be well on your way to a better, less stressful life.

18. Checking your phone at the dinner table.

Whether you’re with friends, a date, or your family, it’s not cool. Whatever is so intriguing on your phone can wait. And texting while driving? Really not cool. Seriously, stop.

19. Living vicariously through social media.

20. Sending regrettable texts after 2 a.m.

Let's be honest: Doing anything past 2 a.m. is probably not the best idea. But sending nonsensical texts to that person you’re seeing or phone-bombing your ex isn’t good for anyone.

21. Never (like, ever) exercising.

We’re not talking running a marathon or punishing yourself with heavy weights. If you think you hate working out, find something you love. With the massive amount of fitness trends out there today, we promise it’s possible to find a workout (from barre to yoga to P90x to dance cardio) that you actually look forward to doing. And you don’t need a gym to get fit—these bodyweight workouts prove it.

22. Complaining about getting older.

Thirty is not old. So stop saying it is. People are living longer than ever these days—into our 80s, 90s, and beyond—so you easily have at least 50 more years to live it up. And not to be morbid, but celebrating your 30th birthday is a lot better than the alternative.

23. Never buying groceries.

24. Saying yes to a second date you don’t want to go on.

There’s no law that says you have to go out with that person again. If you find yourself dreading a second go-round or would simply prefer to stay home and binge-watch Netflix rather than see him or her, that's totally fine. (Note: If you're unsure or just didn't feel a spark right off the bat, it could be worth another try.)

25. Skipping doctor appointments.

Especially skin checks with your dermatologist or check-ups with your PCP or OB/GYN. See your dentist twice per year, and other doctors as often as needed. Don’t put it off—it could save your life, after all.

26. Blacking out.

We’re all for happy hours, rowdy birthday dinners, and epic nights out in general. But it’s really scary—and unsafe—to wake up one morning without remembering how you got home the night before. (Here’s what really happens to your brain when you black out.)

27. Fighting with your siblings over small stuff.

They’re your flesh and blood. And they’re likely the ones who’ll help you cope and deal with the loss of a parent or other family member. While you may have disagreements—and some major dramas—we'd all be wise to let the little things go.

28. Not giving back to others.

Even if it’s not a consistent thing, make time to volunteer. Serve food at a shelter, mentor a child in need, visit folks in the hospital, or try any of these ways to give back (that don't involve writing a check). It will help put your life in perspective and make you realize that even your worst days really aren’t that bad.

29. Waiting for “real life” to start.

This is it. Check in with yourself about your hopes, dreams, and goals on the reg, and if you haven’t asked yourself lately what kind of life you really want to live, do it today. Then start living it.

What Your Period Might Reveal About Your Health

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When it comes to the human body, hormones affect everything. From sleep cycles, moods, and sex drive, to appetite and even mental health, hormones are involved in virtually all of our physical and mental activities.
Yet hormones are hardly a primary component of the national conversation about health. Alisa Vitti, a women's health specialist, founder of FloLiving, and author of WomanCode, seeks to change that. We connected with Vitti to talk about hormones, health, and how you can change your health with food.

Paying Attention to Periods

"For so long women have brushed aside and failed to take seriously the symptoms that we attribute to our hormones, such as PMS, cramps, and acne,” Vitti says. Yet strong evidence points to the fact that hormones are important—for both men and women—at every stage of our lives.

Some of the most convincing evidence comes from a 2009 study that was funded by the NIH. The study yielded two primary findings: One, that women who experienced untreated hormonal issues—such as premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and infertility—prior to menopause were more likely to develop diseases of inflammation (such as diabetes, heart disease, and cancer) later in life. And two, that women can improve their hormonal balance with diet and lifestyle changes.

Armed with this knowledge, Vitti is on a mission to “turn women on to how powerful their bodies are.” Instead of joking about crankiness and chocolate cravings at a certain time of the month, Vitti wants women to get in touch with their menstrual cycles—to figure out what's out of balance and how to make changes to improve overall health.

Getting Into the Flow

To that end, Vitti created the WomanCode System—an online platform designed to help women permanently balance their hormones via education, eating plans, personal counseling, and symptom tracking. (She also published a book by the same name.) The idea is to use the program to enhance standard medical care. “Every meal, every day, you need a system that’s going to help you succeed [in your health goals]," Vitti says.

The easiest way to learn about what’s going on with your body, according to Vitti, is simply to look before you flush. The color, consistency, flow, and timing of menstruation can all yield insight into your current state of health. Other markers of hormonal imbalances—many of which are considered par for the course for menstruating women—include breast tenderness, moodiness, acne, dandruff, constipation, eczema or rosacea, and changing energy levels.

Blocking Optimal Health

No surprise here, these issues are remarkably common. An estimated 85 percent of menstruating women experience at least one symptom of PMS each month, while approximately 10 percent of women in the U.S. struggle with infertility issues, and as many as one in 10 suffer from PCOS.

All told, Vitti says, more than 20 million women in the U.S. alone struggle with menstrual and other hormonal health issues. As Vitti sees it, these hormonal imbalances are caused by what she refers to as “flow blockers"—pesticides and chemicals in our foods, cosmetics, and home and work environments, which, according to some studies, have been linked to hormonal disruption.

Hormones are also affected by what we eat. “The primary function of the endocrine system [which relies on hormones for proper function] is to safeguard the transport of sugar throughout the body,” Vitti says. Thus she asserts it’s vital to maintain blood sugar stability. In some ways, the idea is nothing new: Experts have long advocated that people avoid blood sugar spikes and crashes, primarily by avoiding refined carbs. What's unique about Vitti’s approach is the special emphasis she places on the connection between blood sugar and hormonal balance.

Of course, stress also plays a role in hormonal activity. And while we can't always control external stressors, such as a job loss or family tragedy, Vitti is confident we can control internal stressors, such as blood sugar, exposure to pesticides, and lack of micronutrients, simply by refining our food choices. These choices can, in turn, promote a healthier hormonal cycle—which Vitti sees as essential to overall wellness.

Creating Cyclical Lifestyles

In addition to dietary changes, Vitti advocates establishing a lifestyle that meshes with the hormonal cycle. “The four-week menstrual cycle is a creation cycle,” Vitti says. Indeed, some research supports the idea that hormonal cycles are tied to creativity. Vitti views the follicular phase as a highly creative, idea-generating phase; during ovulation, women may excel at communication skills; during the luteal (or, loosely, the premenstrual) phase, focus may improve, providing energy for administrative tasks (e.g., organizing a shoe closet or finishing a project); and menstruation is a time for “evaluation and course correction.”

Rather than fighting against or powering through these phases, Vitti says people should (quite literally) surrender to the flow. She points out that no person (of any gender) can act exactly the same way every single day but rather experiences cyclical shifts in energy and focus. By observing these patterns, people can create optimized schedules that sync up with our energy and needs.

“Let’s figure out how our body is communicating data to us in real time every day so that we can kick ass in every area of our lives,” Vitti says. “That, for me, is what it is for a woman to get in the flow.”

The views expressed here belong exclusively to Alisa Vitti and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or thoughts of Greatist.

Originally published April 2013. Updated March 2016.

15 Science-Backed Reasons to Have More Sex

For healthy, consenting adults, sex can be great or even mind-blowing. But getting busy with a partner can also have some legit benefits beyond our brainwaves. Read on for more reasons to get it on (as if we needed ‘em)!

This Is Your Body On Sex

The good feelings swirling around the brain during sexytimes are due to brain chemistry, specifically dopamine and opoid chemicals. But the goodness extends beyond our brains. Studies have found that regular sex can do way more than make us feel warm and fuzzy.

1. It helps ward off cold and flu.

Researchers found that university students who engaged in sexual activity a few times a week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A—an antibody that helps fight infections and the common cold—in their saliva . Interestingly enough, the IgA levels were highest in couples who consistently had sex a few times a week, but lower in people who had no sex or lots of sex.

2. It reduces depression and stress.

No need for chocolate: Some studies show that contact with semen during intercourse can act as an antidepressant for women . But don’t worry: Doing the deed has positive mental-health associations for everyone! In general, intercourse can make blood pressure less reactive to stress and reduce overall stress levels .

3. It boosts brainpower.

A study on adult rats found that the sexually active rodents experienced an increase in neurons in the hippocampus—a part of the brain that stores memories—compared to their virginal rat buddies. Not only that, but researchers at the University of Amsterdam found that sexual encounters may improve people’s analytical thinking.

4. It improves overall physical fitness.

If you’re looking for more motivation to hit the gym, consider this: Working out regularly tends to improve our sex lives, and having sex regularly can improve physical fitness. Everyone who’s ever watched an R-rated movie knows sexytime can be quite the cardio workout—in fact, half an hour of sex can burn more than 144 calories. Studies have also shown that exercising frequently can enhance sexual performance.

5. It relieves pain.

Gettin’ frisky releases a bevy of hormones that can reduce pain. Oxytocin, the “cuddling hormone” that makes folks want to snuggle up after sex, reduces stress and promotes feelings of calm and wellbeing. Sex also releases serotonin, endorphins, and phenyl ethylamine, hormones that generate feelings of euphoria, pleasure, and elation—and make people forget all about that nagging sore muscle or back twinge. Other studies have shown intercourse can stop migraines in their tracks and reduce the uncomfortable side effects of rheumatoid arthritis.

6. It improves sleep.

It’s a cliché that dudes pass out right after sex, but intercourse actually can help both men and women nod off. Feeling relaxed and comfortable are big factors in hitting the big O, so it makes sense that there’s a tendency to want to snooze right after. During and after sex, the brain releases powerful hormones (including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin), which can trigger the urge to cuddle or just pass out. Men are especially likely to zonk out because the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for interpreting and responding to new information—slows waaaay down immediately after orgasm in males.

7. It enhances your sense of smell.

Oddly enough, spending some time between the sheets can help our noses do their job even better. After sexual intercourse, the body produces the hormone prolactin, which creates new neurons in the olfactory bulb—the part of the brain that controls how we understand and react to smells.

8. It makes us look younger.

A little afternoon (or morning) delight doesn’t just make you feel great; it can actually make you glow! A Scottish study showed that loving, supportive couples who had intercourse three or more times a week appeared on average 10 years younger than their actual age. Orgasms trigger the release of the sex hormone estrogen in both men and women. Estrogen improves hair and skin quality, making people look more attractive .

9. It decreases risk for heart disease.

Good news, dudes! Studies show doing the deed actually reduces risk of stroke and coronary heart disease in men . According to the study, men who had sex once a month or less were 45 percent more likely to contract a cardiovascular disease than friskier fellows. The evidence suggested the men with better overall health had higher libidos and therefore more sex overall, which reinforced their healthy cardiovascular systems.

10. It regulates periods.

Some athletic (hetero) lovemaking once or twice a week can, on a very basic level, make it less likely that Aunt Flow will show up unexpected. In one study, scientists found that women exposed to male sweat were calmer and more relaxed than the control group. These women also experienced smaller changes of levels of luteinizing hormone (which controls the menstrual cycle) in the blood. Getting’ jiggy with it also reduces stress, another contributing factor in keeping periods more regular.

11. It lowers blood pressure.

High blood pressure puts pressure on the blood vessels, leading to damage and narrow, hardened arteries. The same effects that endanger the cardiovascular system can also cause erectile dysfunction in men (think about it for a second…) and reduced arousal and ability to achieve orgasm in women. Testosterone, a sex hormone power player for both ladies and gents, could be a solution. Studies have shown a link between low testosterone and high blood pressure, while the spikes in testosterone associated with sexual activity might help lower blood pressure .

12. It improves tooth health.

This one’s a bit of a reach, but bear with us. In addition to sperm, semen contains minerals like calcium, magnesium, and zinc—which are also found in root canal fillings . Zinc and calcium are also ingredients in most commercially available tooth rinses. We’ll let you do the math…

13. It fights prostate cancer.

The link between frequent ejaculation and prostate health is still up for debate. According to some studies, regular sex “flushes out” any carcinogens lurking in the prostate gland, making it less likely to become cancerous . But a more recent study showed that very frequent sexual activity in young men (20s and early 30s) could actually increase the risk of developing prostate cancer . Meanwhile, frequent ejaculation in middle-aged or older (50+) men decreased disease risk . In other words, the verdict is still out on this one—though things look pretty good for the older gents among us.

14. It lowers risks during pregnancy.

Pregnant ladies, time to get your groove on. Frequent sexual intercourse—and exposure to semen—can reduce the risk of developing a serious pregnancy complication called preeclampsia (which can cause swollen extremities, headaches, nausea, and even seizures). A protein found in semen, called HLG-A, can regulate women’s immune systems and lower the possibility of experiencing these complications .

15. It makes fertilization easier.

For people trying to get a bun in the oven, there’s no such thing as too much “trying.” A study at an Australian fertility center showed that men who ejaculated daily for seven days had higher-quality sperm at the end of the week. The sperm’s rate of DNA fragmentation dropped from 34 percent to 26 percent, meaning it was heartier and more likely to fertilize an egg—probably because frequent sex (and ejaculation) means sperm spend less time in the testicular ducts and are less likely to be damaged over time.
Thanks for reading.